The Matter of the Pilfering Cephalopod
A casino octopus escapes nightly for gamblers’ bets, but when a $45,000 ring vanishes, Heinz Noonan smells a setup.
The Matter of the Peanut Rain
When peanuts mysteriously rain onto a remote California island, Heinz Noonan uncovers a strange environmental scheme tied to offshore wind farms, birds, and the politics of energy.
The Matter of the Elusive Phantom-Four
A fighter jet vanishes—on paper. Heinz Noonan investigates a “missing” Phantom aircraft and uncovers a bureaucratic illusion where paperwork, not reality, creates the mystery.
The Matter of the Duplicating, Litigating Litigant
When a lawyer tries to manipulate the system by suing herself, Heinz Noonan finds a simple solution that turns a clever scheme into a costly mistake.
The Matter of the Materializing Bricks
When two tons of bricks mysteriously appear on a veteran’s driveway, Heinz Noonan uncovers a prank that reveals something deeper about loyalty, respect, and consequences.
The Matter of the Decamped Snake Venom
When small amounts of snake venom quietly disappear from multiple facilities, Heinz Noonan uncovers a hidden system designed to keep life-saving research alive.
The Matter of the Mislaid Anchovies
When 400 pounds of anchovies mysteriously disappear from a coastal warehouse, Captain Heinz Noonan follows the trail to an unexpected use for the missing containers.
The Matter of the Fortune Cookie Waterfall
A bizarre fortune cookie “waterfall” floods an Arizona art gallery, and Heinz Noonan discovers it may be the perfect cover for a quiet print theft.
The Matter of the Sandersonville Diamond Caper
A mysterious caller promises the diamond heist of the century, but Captain Heinz Noonan uncovers a diversion that leads to an unexpected sting operation.
The Matter of the Waterborne Chattel
A flooded foreign trade zone, seized cannabis contraband, and political smoke and mirrors push Captain Heinz Noonan into a fast-moving case before a 3 p.m. press conference.
The Matter of the Defluxing Insectarium
Captain Heinz Noonan, the “Bearded Holmes” of the Sandersonville, North Carolina Police Department, was in mortal combat with spider web in the upper corner of his office – or was it a cobweb?
MEN WHO LOVE ANCHOVIES LIVING WITH WOMEN WHO DO NOT
A tongue in cheek tribute to the noble anchovy, exploring culinary devotion, domestic conflict, and the tragic condition known as anchiovitis.
SNOW FISHING AT THE TAKOTNA BRIDGE
Every Alaskan has a bear story and almost every one of those stories falls into the category Alaskans refer to as bullchitna.
TO LIE LIKE AN ALASKAN
A witty look at how Alaskans turn tourist myths into playful tall tales through the folk art of absurding and cultural humor.