Heinz Noonan, the “Bearded Holmes” of the Sandersonville Police Department, was, unfortunately, belatedly and reluctantly at a Sandersonville Chamber of Commerce Committee meeting on Civic Improvement. Worse, it was after hours, and, as he was a salaried official, there was no overtime pay. Harriet, the office manager and the genius of arranging for personal overtime pay was there as well. Harriet had no problem with the Sandersonville Chamber of Commerce because many of its members were both widowers and rich, ideal targets for Harriet’s romantic radar.

Noonan chose a seat as far back from the dais as possible — and as close to the exit as politically correct — while Harriet wandered the fecund field of opportunity. The meeting was typical of a Chamber of Commerce with much fanfare and little work done. Just as the MC gaveled the meeting to adjournment, Noonan was halfway out the door when Harriet snagged his jacket tail.

“Got another one for us,” she said as she pulled Noonan back into the torture chamber like a Red Drum being plucked from Pamlico Sound. “Just your cup of tea.” Then she introduced him to Jeremy Harrison Goldberg of Goldberg and Stein, Inc., a construction company from up the highway outside of Manteo. Jeremy, what he demanded to be called, was pushing 55, was built like a football lineman, and missing his left hand. He was dressed for a chamber of commerce meeting, and Noonan wondered how he managed to tie his Windsor as his necktie had no clip. He wore work boots, not shoes, which indicated to Noonan he had probably changed clothes in his vehicle before coming to the meeting.

“This is Jeremy Goldberg,’ Harriet said as he introduced the man to Noonan. “He’s specifically here to speak with the ‘Bearded Holmes.’ Seems his company, Goldberg and Stein, has been looted of a pallet of bricks from a container.”

“Bricks?” Noonan asked questioningly. “I didn’t know bricks came in a container.”

“Container,” Goldbert said as he sliced his way into the conversation. “Like on the back of a truck. We’re missing two tons of bricks. About 500 of them.”

“That’s quite a load,” Noonan said off the top of his head and then realized it was a pun. He gave it a laugh. “That’s odd. Why would anyone want to steal bricks?”

“That’s,” said Goldberg with a smile, “why I’m talking to you.” He paused and then said softly, “We know who took them and why. We just don’t know how they are going to be used, and we don’t want to be a party to any nonsense.”

* * *

Noonan had no notebook, so he was, in essence, flying blind. But then again, this did not sound like a usual loo-loo call.

“I guess I’m a bit befuddled,” he said as he shook Goldberg’s right hand. “You have a crime, know who committed the crime, know why the crime has been committed but you still need help? Have you talked to the police?”

“I’m talking to you. But the problem is a bit delicate, so it needs examination by the ‘Bearded Holmes’ who looks into things that are, uh, odd.”

“I’ll bite.

“But I do not want a police report.”

“If you don’t file one, one will not exist.”

There was a long moment of silence. Then Goldberg raised his left hand, which, in reality, did not exist. “I’m a veteran. Disabled, as you can see. The event, and I call it an event, not a crime, as you have made clear because I have not filed a complaint, involves a veteran and, unfortunately, an organization I respect.”

“Again, I’ll bite.”

“It’s a complicated story.”

“I have until midnight.”

Goldberg laughed. “It won’t be that long. I went to college at an unnamed local institution, and while there, I joined a fraternity. Today that is no big deal, but in my day, it was. A Jew in a university was not odd but a Jew in a fraternity, well, it was groundbreaking. I was treated like a brother, and to this day, I respect those who treat everyone well, like a brother or sister. Discrimination holds us back (pause) as a nation, state, and city.”

“I’m with you so far. What does being a Jew in a fraternity have to do with the theft of bricks.”

“There’s no theft because I have not filed a complaint.”

“Agreed.”

Goldberg breathed a sigh of relief. “Well, making a long story short, when we discovered the bricks were gone, we pulled up the security tapes to see if the perpetrator — your cop term — was on tape. He was.”

“You knew him?”

“He works for us.”

“Let me guess; he’s in a local fraternity.”

“Yes. We caught him on tape loading the pallet … do you know what a pallet is?”

“A wooden frame underneath a load of something. In this case, bricks.”

“Correct. This individual was loading the pallet into the back of a truck with a fraternity bumper sticker.”

“Your old fraternity?”

“Unfortunately, yes.”

“I see,” Noonan looked at Harriet and then back to Goldenberg. “Let me guess, there’s more to this story.”

“Unfortunately, yes.”

“You know where the bricks were headed.”

“Unfortunately, yes, again. The fraternity in question has been in a dispute with a man in Manteo. Nothing violent, all verbal. He went to college in California in the 1960s when let’s just say, things were a lot looser for fraternities. His experience was not positive, so he has been advising young men and women not to join fraternities or sororities.”

“Kind of his right, isn’t it?”

“Yes, but, but, young people are, you know, don’t feel bound by rules.”

“Uh-huh.” Noonan paused for a moment and then asked, “What happened to the bricks?”

“They got piled on his driveway.”

“That’s a lot of bricks. What, two tons.”

“Give or take.”

“Does the guy know the bricks are there?”

“Oh, yes. He called me to see if the bricks had been paid for. That’s when we knew the bricks were gone.”

“And you said?”

“Nothing. I said I’d look into it. We had a somewhat pleasant chat and that was it.”

“A pleasant chat? Let me guess, you know the person.”

“Yes, as a matter of fact. He’s a veteran, and we are acquainted.”

Noonan looked at Goldberg’s missing hand. “I see. Are you going to call him back?”

“Oh, I’m hoping you will do that. If he doesn’t file a complaint, I can adjust the books so no bricks have been stolen.”

Noonan rolled his eyes. “Let me guess, again, you have a name and phone number for me.”

* * *

When Noonan reached Gordon Harrison, he was not a happy camper.

“You’re a cop! I didn’t call any cop! Why are you bothering me?”

Noonan had been here before. “Well, I’m not calling as a cop. Just looking for some information. No crime involved.”

“Damn straight no crime. Don’t trust cops.”

“Many people don’t. Sad fact of the matter. I’m just inquiring — not investigating — some bricks.”

“Yeah, what about bricks?”

Noonan went with an end-around run. “Neighbors are talking about a load of bricks that ended up on your driveway. Just checking if things are OK.”

Harrison had played football. “Don’t have neighbors who care. Don’t have neighbors who will call the police. Don’t believe you are calling about a load of bricks. Why are you on my phone?”

So Noonan went oblique. “Mr. Harrison, vet to vet, I’m just checking. Part of my job, you know.”

That softened him. “Vet? Combat?”

“Too early for that. Six years, two remote. Thule in Greenland, then NORAD in Alaska.”

“Thule? Pituffik Space Base now, right?”

Yup. A lot colder here than there.”

“You know Goldberg?”

“He’s the one who gave me your name and number.”

“Good man, bad luck, working hard to make a living. What’d he say?”

“Said you got a load of bricks, end of story.”

“Could be.”

“Said you had a grievance with a local fraternity.”

“Got that right!” Now he became animated. “Worst year of college was the year in the fraternity. Total waste of my time and energy. I advised vets in college to stay clean away from fraternities.”

“And sororities.”

“Don’t know about them, but fraternities are a real waste of time. Damage you.”

“How’s that?”

“Depends. As a vet, I am sure you know you have to depend on yourself first. Then, the man next to you. Fraternities are the reverse. You’re sacrificing yourself for the group. Not good.”

“Maybe true. You’ve had words with the fraternity.”

“A few of them. Told me to ‘tone done the rhetoric.’ That’s the new age way of saying shut your mouth.”

“Well, I’m not going to get involved in any disputes. I’m just asking if there has been a problem with any bricks.”

“Nope, no problem. What’s here stays here. It’s a prank. Used to do a few myself. I’m not unhappy. Only concerned s-o-m-o-n-e might come and say they’re stolen property.”

Noonan smiled. “Tell you what, I’ll get you a receipt. Will that make things good?”

“Good for me. Good for Goldberg. You never know about pranks, cop. Things that come around have a way of going around.”

Noonan chuckled to himself. “As long as nothing gets destroyed, I understand.”

“I’m smarter than a sophomore in a fraternity.”

And the phone went dead.

* * *

It took ten days for a strong wind to blow across the Outer Banks from Pamlico Sound. That the wind was blowing made no difference to Noonan, and it made no difference for Noonan until Jeremy Goldberg came to Noonan’s office and dropped off a brick. They had a brief conversation, and Goldberg left, dodging Harriet on her way in.

“Wow! Goldberg in from Manteo. What gives?”

Noonan handed her the brick Goldberg had brought with him. “My gift to you.”

“A brick. How wonderful. Any special reason I get a brick?”

“It was a gratuity, and, as you know, as an officer of the law, I cannot accept gratuities. But you, as you always say, are a humble civil servant who can accept items such as this.”

Harriet eyeballed the brick as she set it down on Noonan’s desk. “Goody, goody. How, er, wonderful. How do you suggest I use it?”

“I don’t know. Possibly a door stop.”

“Ha, ha. Very funny. For Jeremy to make it this far south with a,” she pointed at the brick, “gratuity, he must have had a message.”

“He did.”

“He did?! And you are going to tell Mama, correct.”

“If you ask nicely.”

“P-l-e-a-s-e.”

“Good enough. Remember the missing bricks?”

“Hey, I’m the one who got you the assignment.”

“Well, Goldberg gave the vet who ended up with the bricks a receipt. You know, to prove the bricks were not stolen.”

“Clever. Pulls him out of the mess. What’s he, the vet, is going to do with a ton of bricks?”

“Two tons. Jeremy said the vet was going to build a BBQ pit and pave his driveway.”

“Good for the vet. And Jeremey came all the way down here to tell you that?”

“No, not really. He came to give me some news. You know, vet to vet from a vet.”

“I’m lost.”

“The fraternity that put the bricks in the vet’s yard. He did a quid pro quo. Just to show you should never try to pull a fast one on a vet.”

“Quid pro quo. ‘This for that, right?’”

“Yup.”

“What did the vet with the bricks do?”

“Don’t know. Can’t prove anything anyway.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. What happened?”

“Well, you know, the wind shifted last night. Blew in from Pamlico Sound.”

“So?”

“Well, the fraternity in question is on the edge of the city. The western edge. So, when the wind picked up last night, a strange smell was detected outside the fraternity.”

“Strange?”

“And strong. Butyric acid. Know the smell?”

“No, I don’t.”

“Smells like vomit.”

“My god!”

“Yup. Seems a powerful smell erupted behind the fraternity building and blew across town. A lot of people are not happy. They are blaming the fraternity for the smell.”

“Let me guess, the fraternity says it knows nothing about the smell.”

“Yup.”

“And no one believes them.”

“My guess.”

“And that vet says he knows nothing about the smell.”

“He’s been out of town for a week.”

Harriet smiled slyly as she shook her head. “Well, what goes around comes around.”

“I have no idea what you are talking about. But you know, when it comes to the truth, bricks are a good foundation.”

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