Captain Noonan, the "Bearded Holmes" of the Sandersonville Police Department, was in the process of

Heinz Noonan, the “Bearded Holmes” of the Sandersonville Police Department, was just about to bite

Heinz Noonan, the “Bearded Holmes” of the Sandersonville Police Department, was not having a great

July 22, 2016, was the centennial of the first act of terrorism in American history.

I’M NOT A BIRD IN A GILDED CAGE [Tune:  “A Bird in a Gilded Cage”]

THE LADIES’S ROOM UPSTAIRS [Tune:  “Abdul Abulbul Amir”] The most elegant man in the ballroom

I WANT TO BE A SUFFRAGETTE [Tune:  “Give My Regards to Broadway”] I want to

Jenny sat pouting alone in her room at her cosmetic table dabbing perfume; a dot

Captain Noonan, the “Bearded Holmes” of the Sandersonville Police Department, was desperately trying to finish

Captain Noonan, the “Bearded Holmes” of the Sandersonville Police Department, was lusting after his Administrative

Heinz Noonan, the “Bearded Holmes” of the Sandersonville Police Department, was making the sign of

"Ya hear that noise?  Christ, that ain't static; that's a bear! Yeah, I gotta bear