THE LADIES’S ROOM UPSTAIRS

[Tune:  “Abdul Abulbul Amir”]

The most elegant man in the ballroom

was stunning in black tux and tails,

and sported a maid on his forearm

with piercing black eyes and hair pale.

Those in the know recognized her

though they couldn’t remember her name;

all they knew was she was an accountant

at Fitzpatrick, Smithson and James.

Yes, she was an accountant

the best, in fact, at the firm

but since she was a lady

she needed a man on her stern.

A lion does its best business

at the watering hole

amid the bellows and belches

as the beasts in the water roll.

So she was drawn to the parties

where the business leads were to be had

but she needed a man for admittance

and could hardly depend on her dad.

She chose a man most appealing

a stud horse to distract the horde

an appropriate escort for a lady

who would race but would never score.

She wanted a seat in the boardroom

in one of the soft leather chairs

but the boardroom had only one toilet

and the ladies room was located down stairs.

She made the firm lots of money

she made it without any shame

but stayed stuck in the accounting department

at Fitzpatrick, Smithson and James.

Thus is the tale of a sad lass

who was cursed for being a gal

but she got her revenge in the long run

by putting three daughters through Yale.

Now all three sit in the boardroom

despite the snickers of stares

at Fitzpatrick, Smithson and James.

and the ladies’ room now is upstairs.